It's one of those times recently where my mind goes into an overdrive and brings me to the near bottom of the pit. Not nearly to the bottom most, but near bottom. At times I think that one day I'll literally walk out of the road without looking and die a horrible death, at times I think I will be able to pull through and finally see the light at the end of the rainbow, but hey, is there really a rainbow in my life now? Though blessed with friends who stick around even when I'm not the happiest camper around, why do I still feel like I'm falling into the darkest pit ever?

I'm out and about but where is that sunshine smile I used to have? Where is that carefree spirit? I've become this dark and quiet ghost where even in a crowd no one will notice. Sceneries have seemed to be photoshopped and become greyscale to me, sunshine seems to have been eclipsed by the moon and dark clouds loom over. Is it me or is this world turning grey and dying right in my eyes?

I need a spurt of energy, colors, maybe even hope or faith if it even exists. Invisible tears flowed from the heart, my every part of the body feels dragged down, is this the first sign of dying? If so, please just shoot me right in the heart to stop it from beating, so I don't have to go through hell, ever again.