Been the longest time since I logged in...

It seemed to have been years..

Things have changed, I have changed.

After what I have been through, I feel lonely now. Friends are never friends, family holds a different meaning now. I used to think that friends are the best, but now...

Even a love can change. My love for music, love for action, love for company, love for challenges, they have all but melt into the universe, unable to be found again.

I feel like an empty shell now, so empty that I'm beginning to feel that maybe I am nothing but a shell. Devoid of feelings, emotions and dreams. Just a shell that looks like a human. Incapable of sincere laughter, unable to cry, left with no voice, nothing.

I yearn to findmyself again, but somewhere I know I will not be truly happy again. Not when I can't laugh from my heart, or cry again.

Things have really changed. Decisions I made in the past have caught up, leaving me nowhere to turn to.

Maybe I should leave. Leave this place and start afresh somewhere else. Somewhere no one have ever heard of me. I might then be able to laugh again. No one will ever see me the wayI am now, I put on a very sturdy mask. The mask of my life.